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Is de PM’s Olive Branch Foh Real?

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Some time ago ah group of Cat-lick Christians from SVG went on ah Pilgrimage to de Holy Land,and from all reports most of dem had ah spiritual renewal, dey had Water Baptism in Jordan River and so on. Dey returned to SVG “full ah de Holy Spirit.” One member ah de tour party told me dat whether or not one is ah believer, once s/he visits de Holy Land, s/he will not return widout ah spiritual transformation.{{more}} Wid dat at de back ah me head, on Monday afternoon ah dis week, ah set aside some time to listen to our Prime Minister’s Budget address, mainly to see what his Christmas trip to de Holy Land did to, or did foh him. Before he lef, ah did warn him dat when he goes, nah go any way near de city ah Dem-ass-Cuss because, dah is de place way Jesus did arrest Saul, ah “Bad John” who was “Wanted” foh persecuting Believers. Apparently de PM kept away from dat city, but he searched until he found de fear-most Seek-him-oh Tree dat de mid-jit, Nicko-de-mas had to climb to see Jesus. But our PM experienced something in de Holy Land, ah think is when he felt like ah “reassuring kisses,” he played it safe, went down on his knees and kiss de ground. Lie-Za figures he met his Dem-ass-cut under dah Seek-him-oh Tree. Way ever happen, ah believed he had ah spiritual encounter, dah’s why ah was expecting him to behave like ah “born again,” forgiving and seeking forgiveness and dat could be any-ting: Ah salary cut foh all Par-liar-mint members; re-employ de three NDP Teachers, give lots more concession to de Hotels and tourist related business, especially now dat we got high rankings as ah place to be; de question is, would he pardon Go-reel-her Matthew Thomas; talk-show host, Lynch; set Dug-he and Nice Radio free?

Ah really picked up ah tampered sorry, tempered Ralph in his Budget Address. It was no more ah de ole chest beating, no more ULP wretch-o-wreck; no de-rag-ah-tree name calling, no over-worked clichés like his Carry-beyond civil-lies-say-shun. He sounded controlled like ah Reformed man, like ah defeated braggart too! Lie-Za warn me dat dis could be ah replay ah de Aesop Fable, way Brer Lie-on did play sick to get all de other animals come visit him in his cave, and when dey went to sympathize wid him, he ate dem all, except Brer Fox who never went, never trusted Brer Lie-on. So Lie-Za say she wants to be like Brer Fox, she go wait and watch de PM’s every move. What ah see is what ah teking, ah believe he foh real, even though he came half-clean on ah number ah tings: He threaded gently on our low ranked E-con-Amy wid up-most opt-him-is-him; he gave us ah update on de monies spent on de Airport; he down-played de cry-sis situation looming over de NIS pen-shun Fun, he down-played Property Tax which will hit our pockets harder dan he and Julie-Ann want us to believe. All dem talk bout de country sitting on de crest of another “He-can-nah-mek Take Off,” is no more. He however rushed thru ah list ah new items to be VAT-all-lies, ridiculously including “sanitary napkins” Lie-Za say dat is sex-shall discrimination against woe-men. But my ears tinkled when ah heard de PM making several references to de foundation laid by previous Administration, making specific mention ah de NDP, something he has never said/done since he became PM. And to crown it off, when Gomry Daniel “did it again” or “did it his way” by being ain-sense-it- if to de injured Dan Cummings, our PM apologized in ah reconciliatory mood, offering de All-live Branch to Arm-in and Cummings, promising to drop de High Court matter he had won against dem fellars. Ah one-dah-full gesture! De Par-liar-mint sitting dis year was one ah de best, it was widout bad blood, spoilt only by Gumry who lately is behaving Angry and bitter, like when people got Anger Management problems and drinking dey own remedy “Bitter Bush.” Ralph should send him to de Holy Land.

WE PEN-SHUN IN GOOD HANDS

 
heard ah lot ah frightening tales in de Budget about my NIS Pen-shun, but ah not worried, ah got faith in de management and staff at de NIS. Last Fry-dey was Pen-shun-us Fun Day and we, all two thousand ah we had Fun at de Arnos Vale Playing Field. We were placed within our dis-trick and given matching Tee-shirt colours. Ah need not say dat my Kingstown Dis-trick colour was NDP yellow! Would yuh believe dat some ah de folks refuse to accept de shirts, one lady said her problem is not Pull-it-to-kill, is just dat she fraid “Yellow go mek she lose she fellow,” yuh can’t beat we ole people eh! We had ah stunning march-pass at 9:30 a.m. and were treated to an early brunch of banana or apple, bottled water, sang-wedge, cake and juice. Den ah lively session wid de NIS Praise and Worship Group, led by Executive Director, Reggie Thomas, Met-dis Lay-Preacher tun Pentecostal Praise and Worshipper. Lef to Reggie and Monty Maule dey will tun Met-dis Church into ah Pentecostal Assembly, and why not? Ah ran away foh ah while only to miss de Rose Bank Bum Drum who ah was told, did not fail to deliver some good ole Quadrille and Shatty Dance Rythms, even getting some ah de folks to tek de playing field mek dance floor. One gentle man over-did it and had to be given medical attention. Den dey was lunch, real food, chicken, rice and peas not peas and rice and salad. But mention must be made of de NIS Staff foh excellent service, dey took off dey pretty dan dan and tun to Jeans and Tee-shirt and really took care of us, ah clear indication dat our pen-shun is in good hands.
 
And wid dat is gone ah gone again.
 
One Love Bassy

Bassy Alexander is a land surveyor, folklorist and social commentator.

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